


for you, i'm a fool and more

by thegirlofsmarts



Series: widojest week 2020 [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Mutual Pining, POV Third Person, and it Stays that way, but it changes focus a lot so be wary, spoilers for ep97 (and a little of ep98 but also not really), they do not confess to each other bc they're both cowards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24916447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlofsmarts/pseuds/thegirlofsmarts
Summary: After what transpires at the party and later at the Balleater, Jester decides to check in on Caleb later that night at the Lavish Chateau to make sure he's okay.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: widojest week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803091
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29
Collections: Widojest Week 2020





	for you, i'm a fool and more

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: dance  
> title: dancing to nothing at all - the greeting committee

Caleb was barely starting to bed down for the night when a soft knock was heard at the door. Realizing immediately the lateness of the night it was, he had the briefest thoughts that he should be decent before realizing he hadn’t changed out of his formal attire, too distraught by the transpired events to properly care enough after the future wrinkles. The knock came again, a little louder and almost a little impatiently and he quietly cracked the door open, surprised to find a sliver of blue skin and a violet eye staring at him. He opened it wider and was surprised to see that she hadn’t bothered to change either. “Jester. Is everything okay?”

“Totally,” nodding to reassure her statement, but he noticed that she was fiddling nervously with the chiffon of her pink dress. “I’m just making sure you’re okay.”

“Well, yeah— why wouldn’t I be okay?” Her eyes narrowed at him and the corners of her mouth quirked downward.

“Cayleb,” and she took his hands in hers so quickly that he didn’t have time to suppress the widening of his eyes and a fond slight furrow in his brows as she stared intently at his face with earnest, “I know you care about Essek— we all do— so it’s okay if you’re not okay, okay? I’m just here to make sure you’re safe and that if you _did_ want to talk about it, I’m here for you.”

His face softened, and she tried not to look into how her stomach felt like it was being flip flopped. “Thank you, Jester. I’m okay. _Ja_ , tonight was not the best night, but what else could we have truly expected? We’re the Mighty Nein, are we not?”

She pouted at his attempt to make a joke, seeing through it as a way to deflect from her prying deeper. “Are you _sure_ you’re okay? I mean it Cayleb, if you’re not okay and you’re lying to me—”

“Enough about me,” he interjected, predicting she was about to animatedly and gorily describe his fate, “are _you_ okay? Your mother must be worried, _ja_?”

Worry flitted across her face as she cast her gaze on their hands, her grip tightening momentarily and he resisted the urge to reach out and comfort her. That would never be his place. “I feel like leaving her was a really shitty thing to do, but it was really important, you know? But I can't help but feel like I left her behind at the party that she didn’t even want to go to in the first place? Like I somehow betrayed her?”

“Hey, no thinking that here,” he replied near immediately, the painful worry in her face prompting him to speak. “Look, your mother has always understood we do what needs to be done, _ja_? So she understands that you had to leave so suddenly. Do not beat yourself up, Jester.”

She returned his insistent gaze, a smile full of fondness and her face conveying a gratefulness she couldn’t quite put into words, instead settling for: “Thank you. You’re very sweet, Cayleb.”

He returned her smile with his own, small and slight but one nonetheless. “ _Danke_. You’re not too bad yourself.”

She hummed a little absentmindedly. “You know what I wish I could’ve done tonight?”

His eyebrows raised at the question. “You mean _outside_ of the very chaotic escapade we were a part of?”

Jester giggled, but just as soon as it came, it dissolved into a sad smile. “No— I mean it was super fun and stuff if not _incredibly_ dangerous— but I wanted to dance, to show off this dress that I paid, like, two platinum for.”

“A two platinum well spent, no?” She rolled her eyes at him playfully, and he could not stop his smile from broadening.

“I mean yeah, _obviously_ , but now no one will get to see it now, you know? It feels like such a waste because we’re probably never going to go to another party again,” she pouted, her lower lip jutting out slightly at the prospect.

“I’m sorry you were not able to dance tonight,” he replied in a low, sympathetic voice that he hoped conveyed his absolute genuinity. “Truly.”

“You silly goose— why are you sorry? Everything else was way more important anyways,” she reasoned, her pout being replaced by an indifferent smile to show that she was unbothered, but Caleb could still hear her words catching on the disappointment in her voice that she was failing to hide.

“Hey,” he softly said, practically a low whisper and it was enough for their eyes to meet each other in an earnest gaze, “if I recall correctly, I think I owe you a dance. I could make it up to you now, if you’d so allow me to.”

Her smile curled into a teasing grin, her violet eyes barely visible as she squinted at him through her lashes. “You want to dance here? In your room? Oh Cayleb, who knew you were such a _romantic_?”

His hands leave her, and she is suddenly acutely aware of how cold and empty her hands now feel and fear bubbled in her chest, afraid she had terribly offended him and she was about to be met with a slam of a door, an apology already rising to the tip of her tongue before— oh. He offered a hand out to her, almost shyly, and it made her apology die in her mouth in surprise. His cheeks were flushed red, but his expression held a fondness she couldn’t possibly hope to describe. “Would you do me the great honor of having this dance with me, _Frau_ Lavorre?”

She giggles, a little more at his fancy antics rather than at how surprising this had come, however welcome she would take it. She took his hand wordlessly, not trusting herself to say anything, and let him lead her into his room, letting her tail shut the door with barely a sound. 

Getting into a rhythm held a little trouble, as while her hands found their way to his shoulder and clasped in his hand, his confidence in asking her to dance was already rapidly dying as he was now having trouble with what to do with his other hand. Sensing his trepidation, she gently guided it to her waist and did her best to suppress a shiver that ran down her spine. He leads her into a waltz soon thereafter, and his skill surprises her. Without the drunken stupor he had been in their first dance, it was an easy compliment to give to say he was an _exquisite_ dancer. She wouldn’t say she was too bad herself, but compared to him, she almost felt a little embarrassed. She vaguely noticed that the waltz he was leading with was slow in comparison to most waltzes, but that was fine by her— it would mean less toes being stepped on and she didn’t know if she even had enough energy to last very long to focus on a fast waltz. This was ideal, and it warmed her heart indefinitely.

His room wasn’t small— as most rooms in the Lavish Chateau weren’t— but it definitely would not be the first place she would recommend to waltz in a professional manner. In an attempt to stay in an undisturbed area without bumping into any stray furniture, she realized with a start that their bodies were closer than when they had started and she could feel his breath disturbing a few stray bangs, and with an even bigger start, she realized she didn’t even mind that much. She didn’t even mind at _all_ , if she was being honest. And if she was being _really_ honest, she even felt somewhat content, even if their evening had basically gone to shit in every way it could’ve.

“Hey, Cayleb,” she loudly whispered, and she had to arch her neck to see his face properly. “I’m sorry about what happened tonight.”

He shook his head, concern drawing in his brows. “It wasn’t your fault. _Ja_ , it could’ve gone better, but it could’ve gone much worse as well. No one died, right? I’d say that’s a win for us.”

She smiled, his comfort reassuring her and making a fond warmth bloom in her chest. She continued to speak in a low voice, afraid that if she spoke any louder she wouldn’t be able to conceal her emotions as well: “Thank you for wanting to dance with me.”

His eyes softened, and she almost felt compelled to look away from how overwhelming it was, but her gaze stood steady as she let herself be washed anew in its warmth. “Thank you for dressing me. You really outdid yourself with the coat.”

She beamed at him, letting herself be flattered and feel confident in her work. “Well I’m glad you liked it, because you look _beautiful_ , Cayleb.”

He gave a low chuckle, and her feet almost stuttered in surprise before she swiftly caught herself. “You look quite charming yourself, you know.”

Opening her mouth to thank him, it was suddenly swallowed by a yawn and he slowed their waltz to a near stop, the both of them now swaying to nonexistent music. Jester, tired she would insist if asked, rested her head on his chest and leaned into the warmth from his chest and pleasantly surprised at the soft texture of his coat, the silver embroidery tickling her face. She could hear his heartbeat like this, thrumming against her ear— it was beating fast, and his breathing was shallow now. She distantly wondered if he was still stressed about what had transpired earlier tonight, or if it was something she didn’t dare to hopelessly think about— it wasn’t worth the disappointment when she stopped daydreaming.

“Tired?” Caleb asked in a low voice and she could feel it reverberating through his body. “We can turn in for the night.”

“ _No_ ,” she replied exaggeratedly, suddenly emboldened by not wanting to leave this warm and safe space, “but if _you’re_ tired we can go to sleep— not because _I’m_ tired or anything. Because I’m _not_.”

He chuckled at her stubbornness, and she felt a happiness swell inside of her from being able to make him laugh. “ _Ja_ , okay. Tonight has been long, so we should be well rested for the peace talks in the coming days,” he gently reminded her and she let out a quiet groan, too low to be sure if he heard it or not.

“You’re right, you’re right,” she grumbled, having to resist the urge to grab a lapel of his coat out of frustration. “You’re _always_ right, Cayleb.”

She stifled another yawn, this time turning her face _into_ his chest to do it, both her hands leaving their place to stretch to his neck to steady herself and his other hand going to her waist almost instinctively.

“I think it’s off to bed now, _liebchen_ ,” he gently told her, his voice low and quiet as if not to startle her out of her sleepy state. He could feel her frown into his coat before she lifted her head up to look at his with a pout at her lips.

“ _Caaaaayleb_ , will you carry me to bed?” she whined and she leaned her weight into him as if to reinforce that she was tired and did not wish to move, and he was surprised he didn’t buckle just from the sheer boldness of her request.

“I,” he started, finally finding words after his brain suddenly short-circuited, “do not think your mother would look too kindly on that seeing how it is very late.”

She made a noise in her throat— a disappointed one he would’ve said if he didn’t know better, and he did— and gently lifted her head away and her hands retracting to be both placed at his chest, his heart beating wildly under her fingers. Her head still tilted towards him as violet filtered through her lashes, her eyes fluttered closed briefly and a smile curled from her lips. “Goodnight then, Cayleb. Dream the best dreams.”

She was so close— _too_ close— and he had to resist the urge to just _kiss_ her, with her eyes closed and her lips so dangerously close to his face, but just as soon as she was there she was gone, and he doesn’t know if he’s grateful or disappointed. He supposed he didn’t have a right to feel either. " _Gute nacht_ , Jester. May sweet dreams find you well tonight.”

And with that, she leaves his room as he sits onto his bed with his very flushed face in his hands, wondering what was wrong with him.

**Author's Note:**

> this tis be like. my first proper writing and i Just finished catching up with cr and lemme tell yall i am so incredibly whipped for widojest but i alas did not vibe with what i wrote very hard but a step forward is still a step! but anyways!! hope this isn't like too horrendously terrible? don't forget: you're amazing and you should know it even if you can't believe it <3!  
> (you can catch me @thegirlofsmarts on tumblr!)


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